3rd Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving…. I realized this AM that this is my 3rd thanksgiving in which I am in a treatement center. That is horribly depressing BUT I am looking at it with a positive lens. There are MANY parrallels my first treatment center (St Joes PA) and this one. That one was from Nov 22 - Dec 22 whereas this one is Nov 21 - Dec 21. This time it is NOT drug related, withdrawals, 12 step etc… but rather hyperfocused on Mental Health.

As mentioned previously - after nearly 8 years of absolute stability - I felt something get a little squirly.I was gettin gmore and more manic. It was as if I stopped my meds but I never did. Turns out lithium tolerance has set in and my body stopped absorbing as before, no difference than missing dose or stopping altogehter. This was no fault of my own, but rather our response of my body changing after almost 10 years. Chris and I talked about me going away to a treatment center earlier in the year which I was completely on board for. Mainly to do:

Medication rebalance

Center myself

Find tune an existing tools and add net new where possible

Tons of therapy and figure a way to speak to my family and what they can hear

Leading up to this was a complete total nightmare. Betrayal, being told I'm unwanted by multiple, guilty until proven, innocent, missed out on doesn't hunt, Nashville, the Caribbean cruise that was the cause of all this. I thought for sure my parents would be on my side considering two factors one they desperately wanted Kristin to go, and we're asking her themselves, they were planning ambushes to try to convince her. Toowhen I furnace, absolute proof that the call was bogus.

StillStill, so quick to default against me, Brandon provided a out of context recording and for what reason I do not know. We destroyed our relationship. I've never felt more betrayed not always just a brother but a best friend.

The venom my mother spoke wasThe venom my mother spoke was unbelievable, it was obvious the entire family was against me once again.