Treatment_update_day3

Well - we are here, few days into the treatment center. Really started in the single worst possible way - zero trust with them whatsoever, instant regret for this place specifically, but they seem to be coming around and things are improving. I told staff here, Im the seasoned vet - early on, the rigid structure is necessary to showcase the importance of consistency. I have learned that and have also learned to listen to my body - Im looking for partnership to work forward - not believe they are the enemy.

I finally got to go the gym yesterday, changed everything as I expected which added frustration as they refused prior. Now I feel like I can get some traction and make progress.

What is trustrating is the lack of acknowledgement from anyone regarding past status and where I am now. When was the last time Darrin went to detox, rehab? Yes, I have done other things that at face value should be catastrophic - but my expeirience is more centered on ‘know thyself’ - I have NOT been drunk, overendudlged many different things, Kristen has been.a witness. I NEVER allowed the hooks in, as evident by the easy offramp post surgery. For sake of this self improvement, willing to drop all as a point. My PM prescribed me Percocet (gave up), THC/ CBD gummies, smoking (while they smoke) - point being - everything centers on ‘know thyself’ honest reflection of current state. This even includes stimulants I already had to safely arrive at desgination - NOT WISE0

Still - this is a mental health treatment center and I gladly clean my system - I dont want this to derail. The drugs are a non issues - I can toggle them on light switches - mental fortitude. This is dangerous and should not be conitnued but it does indicate level of mental control.

Yoga Session was great, so many moves, poses that helps the back.. It truly did suck to show up there on Friday before weekend.. I already feel much better.

I miss my family, Kristen really - more than anything. Keep on keeping on.w

Things are definitely looking up… headed in the right trend,, just absolutely rough landing.