Been a minute

I havent written a blog post (well at least posted one) for a long while… I am spending my time completing this site, completing my story and hopefully inspiring someone, anyone to push through, rely on our good God to survive their circumstance. Things here are really good - once we got past the rough landing - the results cannot be overlooked. I came in with a back pain level 8 and now its a 1 if that all be knowing how to admin gabapentin…. something that not only deletes my nerve pain but calms my mania/ anxiety - it really seems made for me, especially given the results.

When I say (at least posted). - I hae 4 blog posts I deactivated as they will cause harm to those reading. I wrote them when I still felt the world against me.. Dad and I had a really good conversation that recontextualized the entire event, shifting from a lens of ‘done to me’ out of hatred / betrayal to care and love. I do think the execution could have been much better, not ripping everything out from under me but present the option prior - ‘go to treatment or this… will happen’ - but whats done is done.

Kristen came up last weekend, 8 hours of driving for 6 hours total with me under supervision of children that still live with their parents. I was and am so grateful for that time together… I love her more than I ever knew - let alone what she knows. Its my job moving forward to show her just how much she means to me and I lave her.

Faith journey - has gone well.. I havent missed 1 day of devotions, quiet time and prayer since the awakening Sept 28 - I still have the dark habits creep in from time to time, I feel terrible and beg Jesus for forgiveness…. however, I do feel close to HIM - i want to be closer, I want my story well articulated on this site so I can proclaim his glory AND provide practical, real world example of someone who survived this collection of mess.