MOTHER of all Betrayals because it was the simultaneous COLLECTIVE of all betrayals - past, current and future.
Wednesday - 11.12
Afternoon - Greg / Myself planned to head down to Mexico for quick in/out. As I always do, I invited Bodie to tag along and cruise with us. I actualyl didnt think he was going to take me up on the offer but he elected to go.
Picked up Greg, went West and the 3 of us walked over the border. Prime intent of the visit was 2 things: tacos and pharmacy. After shopping around a few for pricing - we ended up slowly picking up what we were looking for. Note the items:
Ivermectin
Hydroclox
Z Packs
Sustenone all in one testosterone booster
Note - I have been on hormone treatment for an year as my levels where dangerously low (120)
I originally used an online service, met their Drs, their pharmacy shipped - something lapsed and no more timely orders
Levels tested and floored out again while Dr transition
Spoke to the Dr - I had taken at least 8 boosters over 14 months when inbeteween and my levels were always checked and tehy still never got above 70% normal rage
This is NOT ‘Steroids’ in the traditional sense of the word as presented - Im not jack, roided out, losing hair and raging because of this but rather - my levels are embarrassingly and dangerously low to where it could negatively affect my health. People all over my family were actively yelling at me for doing it and mentioned ‘Steroids in Mexico’ half dozen times - having to defend and work me up each time
NOTE - hormone levels checked multiple times and confirmed in a good place - withOUT the sustenon Boost, it would have falled too far down and required a new, different course of treatement.
Does anyone stop and have this discussion or ask me questions?
I had met my new Dr 2 days prior, prescription ordered and en route. I really didnt have much incentive to go personally. I owed him, he had been asking and I was doing the favor - since I had gone a long time and know my levels were floored AND he doenst like going himself - I tagged along.
We then went to one of the other pharmacies asking around. Dr prescribed me Xanax as needed - hard to get in US obviously, I asked and dirt cheap and included in the order
NOTE: all of my ‘OLD’ problems / vices are generally, by the Grace of God GONE - this is evident by the fact when there was a problem, there was excessive use, running out early always, Dr shopping, ROUNDs of detox, withdrawal and treatment.
Has any of those things happened one time in the past 7 years? Have we even became close? I had spinal reconstructive surgery, they put me diredt vein IV meds in hospital and sent me home with a mountain of OXY. THERE WAS NO ISSUE whatseover using, tapering, stopping and not returning. NONE - Kristen was witness to this. I dont like passing out anymore - I feel asleep at the table often and was total fat, clown.
I get to the root cause - WHY was I seeking and doing those things in such excess. I learned my genetic illness and associated tendencies and used those lessons.
Kristen was there every step, each time I filled - I would tell her and I have her the emergency hidden supply, something the old Darrin would have NEVER done.
Still - in the midst of all this chaos, she vomits our dirty laundry, betrays ALL trust of mine and presents things to my parents - KNOWING they would panic and flip thinking Im on the fasttrack back down the toilet. But in all realizty this was balanced, used, God willing controlled over the pasdt 7 years and she KNOWS that in her heart.
Yet - she threw that grenade to my parents - and now doom / gloom, panic and total explantion.
Bodie - after inviting him, loving him, asking if we would have a future relationship if this happened and giving a non answer - he completely BETRAYED everything we have between us. Steroid this is not new, and in context of new active Dr and frequent level testing - not a big deal. Xanax was a first time ask and get - never told a soul and HE tells his mother to use against me by telling my parents??
Now they are fixated on this as the cause - dad saying I look unhealthy - given the news - but its not the even close to the unhealthy from before. Xanax, Opiates are downers, laziness inducing - appetite stiumulate - sure you could tell i was on those back then when you saw the fat pale guy fall asleep at the table. - He goes on to point out that im SKINNY. We discussed this weight loss 6 weeks ago when the leave started and they knew I had to have my esophogeal surgery and dialate me 3 places as I had 75% constriction - thats why skinny.
Still mom and many others told me to leave the weight as is - plus good for the back, less load.
So the xanax attack had/has zero relevance - remainder of Mexico stuff tossed, will keep Dr prescription form my psychiatrist. Once again, no matter what - everything is used against me or strategized for that purpose.
After Mexico - Kristen and I went out for dinner and it was terrible. Everything fell off the rails because I asked (what I told myself) 1 last time, ‘Please please come with me to my family event along my side as my wife’ - My family had reached out, my brothers planning an ambush and I forbid them knowing it would not end well with Kristen. I told them I would hold off, pray constantly and look for an opening.
As someone who lost their family, there kids and never once was a reason provided - carnage caused as a results. She had a front row spot and she knew I was already worried about being on the cruise seeing all these happy families and knowing my was disintegrated with out even an explanation. I see families with young kids, its down press on my heart, every time - Disneyland, Church, Family events, etc - there is no escaping - I just had to learn to cope, compartmentalize, not react. Learned with my therapist over the years.
She had a front row spot to all this over the years. I volcalized to her just how important it was to me and how it would, “crush my soul” if she didnt go. The Tuesday eventing prior - we were getting along, had sex - chatting away about Thanksgiving plans and after all this regarding the cruise - she informs me every single family member is busy and she has NOTHING to do, sitting at home and cannot wait. I didnt react in anger, I could barely hold back my tears, they flooded my eyes and I left to the garage. Thats is because I had always assumed, 100% she was spending time with her family like we had done most years but when I learned NOTHING was happening, when I know she knew how touchy and emotional it was for me, she electively, proudly chose again to NOT chose me and disregard damage observed for years.
So - Wednesday, after hearing Tuesday the plans - I was going to push, ask 1 last time. Given my family as trying to convince her and everyone I talked to was pretty upset she wasnt going. I didnt even give a second thought to the fact they would undersdtand and share in my feelings once they learn shes not even planning anything.
Dinner exploded - Kristen stormed out of the restaurant. I paid, left - did NOT speed away intentiionally - Thats a sketch drive and need to get out in front.
Nonetheless, she Ubered home - I wanted so desperately to NOT get into it - especially with drinking. She pressed, pushed and yelled.
When she escalated and wouldnt stop - I then started recording. Which I passed around to many family members as I had NEVER done before simply because of the fact false claims were made to call the cops out after she cussed, yelled, screamed and slammed door. It was my immediate proof, in direct context. To the formal 911 call placed.
Once again - I 100% thought that if she called the Cops on bogus lies and embellishments (which looks and sounds terrible, man default blamed) and I had proof that I was calm before and she the agressor - I would finally NOT hav to convince my own family to choose me, defend me - protect their blood first. NOT like they did with Christina - and NOW like they did with Kristen.
Even after she tried to have me arrested for things she did - I disproved it - 2 cops came to me to arrest me based on her call and her allegations. I said, “I never raised my voice, cussed, screamed, nothing” - they stated, “Well, she claims you did and in an abudance of causio we need to take you and separate you two” - I then mentioned the recording, pulled out my phone and played if for them, they held it over their chest camera to capture.
The 2 deputies rolled theirs eyes once they heard enough, said to me “Thank you sir, have a good night” and walked out. They proceeded to go to the deputity with Kristen, wispher my update and they immediately cease and utter something like , ‘dont waist our time’ or similar.
So thank God for this recording that proves my innocence against these lies.
Why wouldnt I think the same would apply to my family who has NEVER chosen me in any circumstance.??? So I passed the video around so they can hear her cranked up, how nasty she can be. I thought the audio would be eye opening and coupled with the Sheriff dynamic and departure - waiting for the slam dunk. I just wanted everyone to know that I am not always the villian, the culprit - because that has been the default setting all my life. I sent the video to: Dad, Mom, Brandon, Ryan, DJ and TIM - for the first time in my life, I didnt even question their support.
EVERYONE - my family and friends combined - ALL blamed me for the audio in which I am very calm with no cussing or agression and she is over the top. It was MY fault beause I baited her in. Its my fault because I didnt this thing 3.5 years ago. Immediate, default to the opposing side. I was devastatingly hurtful when it happened with Christina. This was covered in therapy for many years and it came down to 1 single justifiable fact - Christina was the mother of their grandkids and I could accept that.
There was ZERO condemnation to how Kriten spoke, yelled - NOTHING - it was all my fault.. More assumptions i am the villian - I set her up and entrapt her to look bad to all. But instead, she was ripping just as hard, then i turned recording on as it was getting nastier, then she called the cops after being the agressor and they left becaus i was of zero risk. REMEMBER THIS!!!!!!
After the cops left, they did NOT tell me to leave but at that point after being the calmer one earlier - once she called the cops with fake information and fake allegations to have me removed from the house, I disproved and was allowed to stay but STILL - given all my therapy, ‘Knowing Thyself” - I knew I was VERY VERY angry at that point - so I on my own, elected to leave the house and crash the desert the night. I created space - I took a moment and backed off.
After most of the day at the desert - Fred called me and invited me in town for some drinks. Everything was fine - hung with our mutual friends - all was good.
Then, as we were on the back patio, 2 Sheriff come in asking for Darrin - no one elected me and they left. This got wheels spinning but I immediately assumed a wellness check given out at the desert no service. In times past when Kristen has done something super fucked up (rare) - massive concern, love and aplogies the next day.
This could not be further from this circumstance.
Once I arrived home from the desert, motorcycle in back, camping gear everywhere - I backed in to find 2 Sheriff swarm me - confirm my name and had a packet of paper with them. They proceed to tell me that Kristen was able to obtain a protection order and my:
Home
Dogs
Gym
Office
Storage / Toys
In 1 single flash were taken from me. After my kids abandoned me the last 4 years. After I raised her boys willingly and lovingly from age 7/8 >> 20/21 providing everything they need, establishing tradition - loving them so much I would die for them in an instant. I spent the last 2 years training and teaching Bodie his career path, happily - even though hes tough student and Ive never really been teacher - the drive and intent is there.
At the same time, since July - I have spent 15-20 hours per week meeting with Kheri to design, structure and build her new AI centered home business. Big commitment - but glad to do it and so happy to help.
Sheri - I feel absolutely terrible I called her crazy B and she her on recording - beyond uncalled for - I own that and will work to correct. -but still, I didnt invest time with her even when we but heads and she was rude. Ceiling fans - called 4x over 2 weeks, she got frusted but finally found someone. Moved my big trailer back and forth, prioritiing her, last year, this time, I WORKED MY ASS OFF with my dad to build her an ADU in time for Christmas, a whole home and we did. Now the Golf Cart - total nightmare - she told me its my fault because we weren’t talking so she took delviery in CA, I drove in to SD, whipped trailers around all over the place multiple times, jumped registration, pushed and houded CHP for appt. I had my procedure - same day without knowing - was planning on staying and doing - so Steve did it, using my trailer the process I started and bogged down due to CA, not me - yet when it was all done, ‘We got it all finished, no thanks to you’ - but I did NOT REACT - thats rough and terrible. I just took it, deep breath, and moved on - like the tool chest taught me. (painting context)
Kristen is aware historically what I gladly do for her family, GLADLY. It is my honor - its alot but Its done in LOVE.
When I begin to tell her how I helped her mom or sister today, she doesnt even want to HEAR about it, let alone acknowledge and thank on behalf. It is simply between Her and I - what is that?? Yes I do it for Sheri, but I also do it for Kristen to show my love. Nothing intentionally acknowledged which is fine and NOT why I do it.
With all of this context and knowing the pain I carry with the kids, knowing how important it is to my family - she doesnt even bother to give it a second thought. She refused to go and then she confirms, gleefully that she has NO plans whatsoever and is doing nothing at home.
I told her it felt cruel, didnt matter. I have been very patient, taken it on the chin when i didnt in the past - but this meant too much from me for my family to not try again, 1 last time as the cruise is now in 1 week.
She lost her mind in the restaurant.
She stormed out and left.
I left and then was faulted for leaving and peeling out (nothing abnormal)
Comes home yelling, fighting, screaming, slamming doors
Im still calm - not recording from the start as Kristen and I made a pact to not record without shared knoweldge.
But since she was getting so agressive and hostile - I felt I had to record. Which put the cops on my side and saved me.
Heres where it goes from terrible… to barely survivable.
Once I was ambushed by the cops and had 5 mins to grab what I could and leave the house.
I was floored, beside myself. I was already so angry with her for just calling them on Wednesday and making a huge thing when she was on the offense. I didnt understand - what was written in it to justify, not allow many ANY defense???
Now BOOM, GONE wife and everything else on bogus, fake or embellished accusations.
Dated 11/12 - Cited I was:
Cussing
Yelling
Screaming
Charging people
Slamming Doors
Thew the path lights over the wall
Broken Light switch
Lexus Mirror
Drywall damage from slamming door
Confused- didnt the cops come to the house on 11/12? As a result of their real time assessment, they saw no risk or danger and allowed me to stay once I showed the audio with her as agressor. So Cussing, Yelling, Sceraming, Charging, Slamming doors and the Drywall damange (which I dont know abotu) is all hers on that night 11/12 - as verifed by recording, RING cameras and the 3 deputies onsite.
The second date mentioned.
12/4/2024
Almost a full year prior - she claimed ‘He head-butted my head into the wall’ - I thought the ordre was for immediate protecttion given CURRENT circumstance. I NEVER head-but, she was in my face again, I pushed my forehead into hers and told her get out of my face. If this accusation were true, why wait a year to conveniently report with the other bogus items from 11/12? Where was the mark? Or at min, pictures of either wall or head mark? There are none becaue whatever she is claimed is being embelleshed heavily and dusted off from a year ago at strategic, targetting time.
Thats it - thats what it was granted from. She knew I lost my kids unfairly, she knew my family treated me differently and it hurt me, she even quoted the same saying Im sorry and I am tired of seeing you treated differently and left out.
I leave Arizona completely beside myself - this is SO wrong SO unjust. Her calling Wednesday was bad enough but this? Falsifying or embellishing deatils - pulled back from years - convinentely for the message, narrative - WOW.
I was tore up - but thought there is no reason I wouldnt be welcome at any one of the Abell compounds, oh well - FUNCLE time (fun uncle). Im still sideways, finally rolling into Alpine - I raid the grocery story, kids ice create, treats, food for adults. When I got to Brandon’s he and hte kids were super cool to me and kind. Caitlin had called me about 5 hours prior try to explain Kristens side, defending her - pointing to me, but I wasnt fighting - I was taking it. I told her it was so kind of her to call me and help out with messaging, etc.
When I arrived to brandons - unloaded the food I bought myself and family - Caitlin comes home, while rolling my suitcase she looks at me center eyes and say, ‘NO, this isnt going to happen, you need to leave’ -
and now for the 2nd time in 1 day, 3rd time in 3 days - my heart stopped, pit in my stomach, ill - why so kind earlier and then this?
I left gracefully, very sad but quietly -
So I called my parents to download with them the whole situation - explain any questions, explain the BS and how I can prove it - etc. I was quiet, sad, distressed - I had never felt something so unjust done to me ever, even Christina.
My parents had NOT a SINGLE thing called out that Kristen did. EVERYTHING she said, did, slammed, falsely reported, falsely called the cops was all, 100% MY fault, PERIOD. I was so releved a few years ago to know they are finally on my side and have my back - I thought they would be PISSED that everything I worked for was ripped on BS acusations. I know they wanted her on the cruise and called to discuss with her -yet now, there are acting like they were never once pushing her to go and TOTALLY fine with her not going (why planned ambush)? All the vcious attacks, nastly words - ALL of it was because I must have pushed her. I baited her into that recording - and not one single person has acknolwedged that she has a shred of wronging. But only me when I am super calm becaue they think setup. THis is why I get sick writing this.
The fact of the matter is - we agreed to NOT record without both knowing moving forward. So when she got home, I didnt immediately record, but as it escalated and got nastier and worse - i started recording. I was that calm the whole time, I did NOT bait her. But my own blood which she bashes me, takes everyting from me under false pretenses, possibly ruin my livlihood - all based on bullshit she did and I have on recording to prove - still i am 100% wrong.
After speaking with my dad for a bit (was planning Brandons > theres) - my mom jumped on the call more angry that i have heard in 10 years min - she was pissed nasty - said I had a terribly foul mouth, bad, rotten heart - and more. I was blown away as to what in the hell she heard - I would never say anything close to that hard (she quoted) to anyone other than one of my absolutely BEST Friends - Tim, DJ and Brandon - both a BROTHER and BEST FRIEND.
After the wednesday call when she was the agressor, cops left immediately and did NOT force me to leave becase they assessed non threat. I was very very angry and could recognize that. I know from all my treatements, get out of there. So I started loading all my camping stuff. I called my Best Friend and spoke to him as a Best Friend, NOT my brother - rather than stay at the house and make it hell and awkward, I electd to leave, but I sure as heck VENTED hard to what has always been one of my safe spaces - Brandon.
I discovered the reason my mother was so angry with me was because, that conversation with my Brother, BF - was record against my knowlege and then passed to my parents, mother - the single worst person as she wold flip.
Whats worse, after Mom went nuts on me and cited a few things i said - I replayed and realized Brandon was the only person those words were spoken to, so I called and asked him direct - he resoudingly said NO - he would NEVER reveal something like that in confidence.
SO then - the following day. When my conversation started with Mom, >> DAD .> Ryan >> Brandon. As I was getting hammered from all directions and we are talking about harsh tone, rought language, etc - I kept sticking on the fact I didnt say or do those things in the heat of the moment. Then Brandon holds his phone and plays the record from immediately AFTER my wife tried to have me thrown in Jail over made up accusations that SHE is guilty of, not me. Brandon hold his phone to showcase my irate conversation with him, NOT at or toward Kristen - it was a healthy vent… yet it was also weaponzied against me by the one person that has always had my back.
What was the net gain for recording THAT conversation?
I wasnt thretening, I was leaving - I was irate and livid and leaving as I should, protecting the family.
So why would Brandon record me? Why would he blindly send it to my parents before my arrival and have everyone already turned against me, closed to my perspective before 1 word is out?
I believe this was circulating around - not as the intense conversation hours after the cop but the conversation BEFORE recording and BEFORE cops - somehow a way for my own family to even the scales agains their brother.
Then they can say - see Kristen was totally fine, darrin was terrible before he started recording to manipulate narrative and before the cops came wihch is why they left. I was the sneak shit - not that Kristen said horrible things, called the cops on her own noise and escalatkon.
Now my tightest family member and best friend in the family competley and totally betrayed me after lying to me..
Not only do they not have my back - no one defends or protect me, EVER. Why do you thnk i get angry? If Caitlin or Tine did this to B or R - I would bring the fuckin further in their defense.
Definintely NOT sleeep at my family home.
So - i have to get a hotel, pay for it all alone becaue im simply not welcome.
GUILTY until proven innocent..
Weekend hotel in SD -
i was coungint the our to nashville.. never been by myself - so much to go over and review, very excited. spke2x weekly
then my Best Friend my whole life - speaks to me with the coldest tone i had ever heard from him. “not a good week, not welcome”
Devastated - that was my refuse, my recenter.
Oh well - the thing that started the fight with Kristen - hey, I get to look forward to that. Family, cousins, writing, reading, etc.
Dad - after meeting him at church on my own accord, we go to lunch and he now tells me I am not welcome to go.
So everything gone, everything exploded-
So ….
Even DJ as so quick to defend her… see below - literrally - it is NOT possible for anyone, brother, best friend or otherwise to protect and defend.
My feedback on the recording bud:
I think anyone who knows you or doesn’t know you
would still assume she was provoked and ‘stuff’ happened before the recording that you had a hand in
no one who knows you or doesn’t know you would presume you’re innocent from the recording
and would ask what you did to make her say those things
and to drive her to that point
so i wouldn’t use the recording for any purpose
or share with anyone to gain favor in your side
whether your calmness in the recording is genuine or sinister
most people will assume it’s sinister
from my angle, I know there’s been some rough history there
in my opinion, i think she’s been very bitter at you for quite a few years now
and it’s prob hard for her to ever move past those past grudges from a few years ago
my advice to my best friend is to play it low key
don’t try to win anything or win anyone over for ‘your side’
be gracious and kind to her
don’t burn the house down or try and get back at her
it sounds like the point of no return on that relationship
but just graciously move on in life quietly
and pursue your future happiness
heck you could meet a gorgeous young 32y.o. and have babies all over again
and find happiness and bliss
but I recommend closing that chapter quietly
it happens
just move forward and find peace and joy
love ya bud
you know i’m always here for ya
and going to give you an unbiased perspective
Then - If all of this collectively wasnt bad enough……
The single thing that has damaged me the most by miles is the abandonment of the kids. Everyone knows it - its a root cause to much heartache. As my parents and I grew closer over the past few years - I spoke of Parker and Ellie often. Just how much it murders my soul for this to happen and even worse is - there was never 1 conversation or reason given - just poof, GONE.
My mom watched me break down a few times - she know and finally, for the first time - we were in TOTAL lockstep. They aligned and agreed with me on the kids - after 12 years of they always having Christina’s back, I was finally told things like, ‘we finally see’ and ‘man, shes a piece of work’ - BREATH of fresh AIR - they finally understood and aligned with me, their son. We agreed that if either person or anyone made contact, we would share.
1 year ago, this was our alignment.
6 Months ago - I found out casually through little nephew, my parents saw Parker and it blew my socks off… I reacted poorly because the saw him, the single largest scar and pain in my life and not only did they not tell me, there was a coordinate effort to make sure I didnt know aobut it and I only learned becaue my little nephew mentioned. Then when losing marbles - its all me for being agressiove, this is why Parker is seperate/? What ? When i found out via no adult divultging and confronted my mom - she downplayed and said for only 30 mins or so and come to find out it was an overnight stay. Again - no truth for Darrin.
So fast forward 6 more months - NOW - 1 year removed from full aligment. Saturday at length - they went on and on with what was news for me - Parker cut me off solely because of someting he had read or stumbled across where i was tearing up his mom.
I begged for a reason starting 5 years ago - why is this coming up now?
2 - Im not dumb - i would NEVER put anything like that in writting as it can be uised against, stupud
3 - Very similar to when the very first crack happened - Problem was with Ellie saying Fuck at little party, she denied, 5 witness and a video confirmed, yet Ellie denied again and Christina blieved her over adults and video - then proceeded to call my brother a predator because he made the video - Daughter dead to rights, refused to do anything, actually defends ,then acuses my close brother of being a child molester and you dont think id flip out?? even when i do in defense of someone i love - im faulted….
FIRST crack with Parker was because as I was going nuts on her - she strategically put the phone on speaker and made it so that Parker could hear and THAT was the first wedge…
I combed all coorespondence, cant find anythingn, even using 4 AI tools - either this is made up - or the document or whatever was staged by his evil mother - which would be a surprise.